If I had the mother I lost long ago

When celebrations like Mother's Day collide with the loss of a loved one, sometimes reflection is good for the soul. Happy Mother's Day. http://diaryofadomesticdiva.com

I am blissfully aware of how luck I was to call this woman my mother — even if it wasn’t long enough.

If I had the mother I lost long ago

If I had the mother I lost long ago
for whom my heart aches every day,
would I still be the mother I myself am
had she been here to show me the way?

If I had the power to change what once was
though it meant changing what was to be,
I don’t know that I’d have the strength it would take
to risk all that’s familiar to me.

If I had the knowledge of now way back when
I knew not that I needed it most,
would I have done things any differently, though
it might mean my whole world would be lost?

If I had the words to express what I felt
why, oh, why, did I utter not one?
Fear-crippling thoughts scared my voice into silence
which now yearns to scream itself undone.

If I had the strength of an army of men,
I would still not be nearly as strong
as she was even on the weakest of days:
my mother, the warrior of one.

If I had the power to go back in time
to the last Mother’s Day she was here,
I’d tell her, dear Mom, “Worry not, you’ve done well.
In my heart you will always be near.”

And I’d say one thing more, as I deign to reflect
on our bond, which seemed sent from above,
“Hold me tight so that I may recall your embrace
when one day I shall hold my own loves.”

And thus motherhood weaves its way into our hearts,
silent wonder, eternal, unspoken.
Embraced fully, it’s one of life’s beautiful gifts,
a bond which can never be broken.

Happy Mother’s Day, with love.

When celebrations like Mother's Day collide with the loss of a loved one, sometimes reflection is good for the soul. Happy Mother's Day. http://diaryofadomesticdiva.com

I am reminded every day of what it means to be a mom, my own mother not far from my thoughts. (Mother’s Day 2016)

About Erica

Erica writes with humour and heart about family, #fit40s and living life in the carpool lane. Part-time banker by day and Netflix-addicted-cake-decorator by night, Erica's in-between time is spent dreaming up ways to ruin her kids' lives. Obviously.
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4 Comments

  1. Wow. That is beautiful. I’m sorry your mother isn’t with you in person. She is with you in all those happy faces though. Happy Mother’s Day, Erica!

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