My blog ideas are like a Seinfeld episode that never got written; or rather, that DID get written. By someone else. Someone with a flare for stating the obvious, though in an even wittier, funnier context.
You know how you would experience that ‘A-ha!’ moment in the ‘show about nothing’; which was actually a show about something; a ‘thing’ which became positively hilarious because someone else took an ordinary moment to the next level? And you think, ” I totally GET it!” Well, my blog ideas are like that. Like shrinkage. We all know it happens and that it is a curious thing. But to actually talk about it? And make it funny? Now, I’m not saying I’m always thinking of ways to be funny. But, as a mom, it is often the random misshaps of my brood that strike a chord with me. There are also many not-so-funny moments worth exploring, but either way, my blog would be wicked awesome [caution: Maritimer twang may surface] if I actually were able to spew out my thoughts the moment inspiration hit.
I have another blog related to my cake business. However, this space is not about baking or caking or licking icing off a spoon. It’s about writing. It’s about ideas and thoughts and feelings. Good things. Scary things. Icky things. Funny things. You know, all the things a blog should be. I like to think that I have a knack for putting ideas to paper (or, in this case, to keyboard.) But I feel like I’ve lost my groove. Writing was my talent. I was never the dancer or the athlete or the artist. I was, however, a voracious reader growing up (still am) and I loved to write. I would write poetry, cheesy-ass songs and constantly rework short story ideas in my head. I also kept a journal. A diary. I have probaby 25 of these gems which will one day go up in smoke. I began cataloguing my day-to-day escapades from the time I was six and it turned into a bit of a ritual until very recently.
[This is the part where my attempt at humor fades into self analysis. Please read on if you’d like some insight into the Business of Erica.]
I’m not sure what changed, but January hit and, yada yada yada, I sort of just stopped writing. This is a woman who, for the past 30+ years has written in a diary EVERY NIGHT (with a few exceptions) and suddenly…just…stopped. One thing I will say; this happened right around the time I began to immerse myself into the engaging and addictive world of Twitter, expanding my social media horizons with the hopes of promoting my business. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
So does that mean I was so easily swayed by the power of online media that I would suddenly halt a ritual that was so ingrained in my day-to-day that even my husband knew to respect those sacred moments of my bedtime routine? Something so very much at the core of my being? Is this what I had become? A media junkie? Up until all hours checking that last tweet on my iPhone…in bed? And it’s not like I didn’t have plenty to ‘write home about.’ Financial drama. Three birthdays. Family drama. Potty training trials, tribulations and successes. Health drama. How my little ones are growing by leaps and bounds. LEAPS and BOUNDS! But suddenly, it was like the spark was gone and I was missing out on preserving cherished moments that I otherwise would have documented.
I am a ‘documentor’, an organizer at heart. I love photo albums and baby books and journals. I love neat and tidy. I love feeling relaxed and in control. But I have fallen prey to such imbalance in my life that I often wonder whether I’ve really thought things out. Whether in my haste to make a ‘go’ of it, I’ve neglected the very things that make me who I am. I am a very passionate person and, though I can be very sensible, I am also guided strongly by emotion. I tend to jump in feet first. It has not gone unnoticed by those around me that I’ve let the reins go slack a bit and this show of weakness is driving me crazy. It’s become clear that I’m not as in-control as I’d like to be. As I’m used to. I’m plagued with self-doubt. I stress about our financial future. My children sense that I’m tired and impatient. I feel as though I’m holding my breath as the personal projects I’ve put on hold collect dust, literally. There is unfinished business and I can not fully exhale until the Business of Erica gets caught up.
Want to hear something funny? I’m not alone! But I do need to make some changes. For my sake and, ultimately, for the sake of my family. I challenge you to also make a change in your life. A pledge, of sorts. Just one. And it doesn’t have to be major. Sometimes the littlest change can have the biggest, most profound impact.
Here’s my first pledge:
- Beginning April 1st, I pledge to myself to begin writing in my journal again, at least twice a week.
Time to be the master of your domain! What’s your pledge? How will you make Time for Mom and how will you follow through?
Want to follow me on Twitter and see if I stay on course? Click here and let me know you’re following with the hashtag #DDDTimeForMom and I will do the same.